How to remove privileges without hurting your child?
Children are prone to misbehaves; therefore, take away privileges without hurting your child is a measure parents can use to set control.
However, privileges removal must be done unnoticeable or in such a way that it doesn’t disrupt child’s emotional wellbeing, after all, the motive is to bring orderliness.
Whether you choose to remove a fun event, favorite item or the likes: several tactics exist that parent can use to make privilege removal an effective consequence.
Very important to know that ‘Take away privilege’ in a smart way will not only shapes your child’s positively but can also boost morals and encourages children to make better choices in the future.
When it comes to robbing kids of their privileges, parents/guardians must be realistic and logical about it.
For example, children Chrome book is required for school; you don’t take such away because your child misbehave, else study is affected.
Don’t take away things that children require, such as meals or beds. Forcing a youngster to go to bed hungry, sleep on the floor etc. is bad way of administering discipline. Doing such veers dangerously close to child abuse.
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Take away privilege’ meaning simplified
Privileges in the context of our discussion could mean things that children enjoy but are not required, or a must to have, or form in line with basic needs for survival e.g. Utilizing gadgets, going to the movies, playing with toys etc.
Understand that not being privileged to access ones needs as children can either have positive or negative outcome in most cases.
Parents therefore must prioritize removing wants compare to needs. Also as guardian, you must match and weigh the consequence of the privilege you’re removing at any point in time to your child’s transgression.
Typical example of prioritizing wants against in (take away privileges)
Take away the option to hang out with pals if a teenager is out with friends and does not return home on time.
Take away your child’s cell phone if he or she spends a lot of time texting buddies instead of doing homework or reading his/her book. Don’t take away too many privileges at once.
Administering authoritarian parenting approach is more likely to force youngsters to focus on their hatred for you rather than learning from their mistakes.
How to take away privileges without hurting your child?
Parents taking away privileges should be geared towards teaching children that it must be must be earned with good deeds.
Good behavior, morals, values, social ethics etc. must be adhered to’ and if a child is not embracing such; take away privilege to help bring in sanity.
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Smart approach to take away privileges
Here’s a closer look at how you can chose removing privileges as a tool to control misbehavior or discipline your child.
In situation where a child disobeys the lay down rules, you as a parents/guardian can carefully consider which privilege to take away using the point listed and discussed below:
Weigh the consequence
Consider which privileges are most important to your child. It won’t be an effective negative consequence if you take away a privilege that your youngster doesn’t care about.
Think, while the loss of chance to access toys may hurt one child, another child may feel unconcerned with toys as long as they can watch TV.
Choose something that will have a significant impact on your child that does not seems punishing, demoralizing or steer up unnecessary anger.
Set standard before removal
Tell your children what privileges will be taken away if they misbehave or go against rules.
Rules are guides. So explain the consequences of breaking the rule ahead of time peradventure you’re working on a specific behavior issue.
For example before an outing, set rules like – “You won’t be permitted to ride your bike tonight if you don’t listen and follow directions at the store today”.
Other way round is to sigh warning as measure against misbehavior. For example, you can say “If you don’t clean up the toys on the floor after use/play, you won’t be permitted to play with them for the rest of the week”.
Look at the situation that surround the need to remove privileges and be guided to administer proper decision.
Establish a time limit
Being flexible with taking away privileges is good. Make it clear how privileges can be reclaimed. In most cases, a youngster can learn a vital life lesson within 24 hours.
However, there may be situation when creating a timeline depends on how fast your child’s adheres to positive conduct and make good sense of what you want him/her to understand.
In situation like this clearly state terms and condition: for instance if a child is disorderly and litters the floor often and you want to instill orderliness and cleanliness, you can draw his/her attention to it by saying
“If you clean your room and maintain it clean for a week, you can have to yourself a brand new educational toy of choice’ or
“You will use my room till you are matured enough to keep your things orderly’ etc.
Stay off unclear deadlines to avoid hurting your child because kids must have a clear knowledge of the measures they must take to reclaim their privilege.
Respect your boundaries
When your child begs, whines, or complains, don’t give in. If you do, you’ll be reinforcing the bad habits.
Even when it’s difficult to yield because of love, endeavor to let him/her stick to the consequence for the designated time before you restore the privilege.
Don’t give in when their behavior improves. Let say you take away the chance to attend the Friday football game.
Maintain your boundaries so that your children understand you are serious and cannot be persuaded to change your viewpoint. Lesson learn will not be easily forgotten.
The only exception is if you take away privileges because you’re angry. For example, if you say, “I’m never letting you play computer games again,”.
When you’re calm, do some damage control. Discuss the current, more rational time restriction and apologize.
Make It Logical
It’s always ideal to personalize privilege though, suspensions to the offence and your child needs to be strategically position in such a way that it is balanced.
If you’re stuck for ideas, here are some instances of privileges that could be withdrawn.
When children fail to complete their duties, take away their cell phone. Tell them that if they perform their duties on time two days in a row, they can earn this privilege back.
When your youngster refuses to clean up, take away a favorite toy for 24 hours.
If students do not complete their schoolwork throughout the week, they will be barred from meeting with friends on the weekends.
When kids don’t finish their homework, take away their video gaming privileges. Tell them that if they finish their homework each day, they can earn the privilege of playing video games.
Parents often read: How to Improve Child’s Education Outside Classroom?
When children argue and become disrespectful, take away their television or computer privileges for 24 hours.
Taking away the television is only effective if the children have no alternative means of watching their favorite programmers.
If youngsters can watch Netflix or YouTube on their laptop or cell phone or play video games on the computer, it’s probably best to take away all electronics, not just one.
Purpose of taking away priviledge
The purpose of taking away privileges is not to hurt children but to encourage them to make better decisions.
When you take away privileges, it makes children will have more time to reflect on their mistakes and attempt to make better decisions in the nearby future.
Coming this far tell you are now enlightened on the smart way to take away privilege without hurting your child. Now you know that the overall aims is to instill self-discipline, self-control and positive growth mindfulness in your children.
Meaning, kids could think twice about their action, if they realize they could lose a valuable privilege if they don’t exercise self-control or make appropriate choices always. Thus in turn will help grow a future generation that embrace making the world a better place for all.
DFlourishingKids™ 