No matter the love, care and affection you shower on your child, how to help your child make friends should be one of the top priorities that matters to you. It is better to teach them how to socialize early while raising them because no matter the amount of time and money you invest in them, you cannot fill up the social space where making of friends and keeping good relationship with people is of more importance.
Although, it is understandable that a human can be extrovert or introvert; maintaining a good social life is one of the qualities that makes us feel alive. The space of family and friends is a different one entirely and one should not be replaced with the other or left empty.
A parent should help their children make friends while they grow up, good friend I emphasis. Let them know how it feels to be among their peers, experience the love, talks, play, fights and arguments from their peers whom they are friends with.
You must not hoard your child to yourself and segregate him/her from their peers. Let them mingle and bond with people who they can walk, talk, eat, play and do things with. The only thing a parent can do to help is help them make good friends that will make and not mar their lives or careers.
How to help your child make good friends?
Parents can help their children make a good and excellent choice of friend or group of friends through the points below;
- Observe and understand how your child socializes:
As mentioned earlier, some people are introverts and don’t like being among unfamiliar people or attend events where people are many. They like to be reserved and prefer to be alone rather than mingle with people while some are extroverts that loves to meet new people, party and mingle with them, chat with them and eventually become closer to make friends with them because they get bored easily when they don’t have people around them. A parent has to understand the category their children fall in so they don’t end up forcing them to do things against their will.
Children who are extroverts need much attention and lookout on by their parents. Since they are prone to falling into wrong hand be it any gang or group of bad friends as long as they make friends with them, so it is vital for parent to keep close watch.
Extroverts love to mingle and won’t take things like the characters, dressings or attitude of people into considerations before making friends with them. Parents with such children should make sure they know the friends of their children. Caution them where there is need for it’ before they roll too deep into bad behavior. By setting control and warning them of the dangers ahead with love. Necessary care must be taken and not to use harsh words on both the children and the friends they are trying to separate them from but with wisdom. Let them realize why they can’t walk or play with them and advise them on how to get over them.
For the introverts, the parents should try to take them to their friend’s house that has children of their age or in their peer group. They should take them to family outings, ask who their friends is and even introduce them to kids they trust while leaving them to get used to each other. Don’t force many friends on them, allow them to slowly open up to accept friends one by one, they can even get to know more friends through that one friend they’ve successfully made.
- Be a positive social behavior role model:
You as a parent should be able to socialize with people and do that in the presence of your children. Don’t socialize with strange people who have weird and bad habits or attitude. Set yourself as a role model to your child and they will learn from you. Invite your friends over and their kids too, have family dinner or lunch with them. Leave the kids to mingle and play while you also discuss, swim together, play games of kids versus adults and let everyone have fun. Here is a guide you need to understand socialization The 25 important social skills every child should have.
- Don’t compare your child to others or even yourself:
No don’t! Never compare your child, don’t tell him/her to look at xyz and emulate how they behave. Let them be their own person and grow at their own pace. Guide them and always be by their side and support them as much as you can. Don’t tell your child they are not up to your standard or they are not like you, they will feel bad and discouraged. Understand them instead, respect their choice and try to adjust them a little to make friends or attend gatherings.
- Build their self-esteem:
Don’t let your child or anyone look down on them. Make sure you engrave it on the children’s mind that they are a super person on their own. Tell them they are beautiful, handsome, brilliant and bright. Shower them with praise and tell them not to be a coward or be withdrawn when they are in the midst of their peers. Teach them how to handle situations and also how to behave and comport themselves. They should be classy not proud, reserved not dumb and be friendly at the same time.
- Teach them to be understanding:
Children who will later grow into adults should know how to be understanding from the early stage of their life. Teach your children how to understand others, they should learn how to put themselves in others’ shoe and predicament and be considerate of their feelings.
They shouldn’t do to others what they don’t want to be done unto them. Teach them to be friendly so they themselves can attract good friends. They should be polite, calm and have listening ears not forcing their opinions on people but rather see things from others point of view.
- Teach them how to be forgiving:
Don’t let children hold grudges. It’s very bad! As soon as you discover that your child got into fight with either his friends, classmates or anyone and refuses to greet, relate or be friends with them even when they apologize and say they are sorry, quickly caution them and call both parties to find out what transpired and led to the situation. Make sure to solve same amicably
Don’t ignore them and conclude they will fix it on their own, instead try to step in calmly and don’t judge. Just point out the wrongs and right and help them settle it. Don’t take your child’s side, the friend will be enraged, don’t take the other friend’s side, your child will be disappointed, instead try to settle it and even take them out for food and make them bond the broken relationship.
- Don’t choose or impose friends on your kids:
You can try to make your child get closer to people to make friends but don’t force a friend on them especially if your family is the rich type. They might get the wrong idea and mistake it for you giving them access to top notch people and families and feel or behave superior to people from lower families. Don’t plant the seed of pride in them because they will end up trampling on people instead of making friends with them.
- Teach them to be good to others and share what they have with love:
Explain to your children why they should cultivate the habit of sharing things they have so they don’t end up being a miser and selfish human. If they clench hands on what they have and refuse to share, they will end up losing most of their friends if not all. Children should learn how to share with people with love and be good to them because kindness is also a rule in making friends, no one wants to be friends with a selfish and self-centered being.
Frequently ask question related to how to help your child make good friends
What to do when your child has no friends?
That signify that there is a missing gap called social skills. There is need to start educating or instilling social skill in your child. Start by asking who your child friends are at school, worship center or in the community. Further request if there is any thing your child likes and is looking for in a friend. Sensitize your child and make him realize every human is a social being and we are prone to interact for many good reason. Let your child know the good reason for socializing. Educate your child on good things to be considered or watch out for while making friends. Let him/her understand good behavior, character and attitude so as to guide on negating bad friends.
Why is it hard for your child to make friends?
Social skills has always being the major determinant to making good friends. Many kids out there with good social skills easily make friends. A kid with good social skills has all it takes to make friends easily unlike a kids who is not. A kid without social skills can easily get nervous amidst peers. Most time kids without good social skills are not good at starting conversation. They can be moody and to make friend becomes difficult.
How to improve my child social skills?
There are various step parent can embark on to improve Childs social skills. However, it is a gradual process. It may also need you involve the kids teacher in school in order to speed up learning social skills. Few steps you can take is know the child interest and let it be the angle at which you start instilling socialization skills by asking the child question and enabling him to answer. Teach empathy, be a good role model, create time for outing, read books together, engage in role play etc. with this few you can gear your child up in socialization skills.
Children can end up making friends or losing friends depending on the training and environment they find themselves so the parents should try their best to be a good role model and culture their kids in a way that will make it easier to make friends with people or people being friends with them. It is paramount to instill socialization skills in your children.
So far you have been endowed with lots of information that can make you help your child makes good friends. You now understand how important socialization is and how to instill such skills in your child as it will enable your child to easily make friends. Despite, I know you still have one or two question, please go ahead and ask using the comment box below. I assure you quick response. Always glad to hear feedback from our readers. Feel free to comment below and share this contents with others parents. Making the world a better place for all. Thanks for reading.
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