It is inarguable that parents play a vital role if not the most important role in the character formation of their children and they also have the most impact on how the child eventually turns out in life now and nearby future.
Good, how about parents adding values to a child? Sure’ values is inevitable in every child life development and so parent must endeavor to teach values to a child to be good leader by knowing and learning good values as a child?
What is value and how does a child inculcate good values?
Values are basic beliefs that guide or motivate attitudes or actions. They help us to determine what is important to us. Children pick up bits and pieces from the environment closest to them, parents, siblings, friends both at home and in school. All these come together to make up their characters, their perspective of life, and the values they possess.
According to a recent Pew Research, more than 50 percent of parents with children younger than 18 think they do a very good job raising their kids.
This might be true; but how do you as parent ensures you are doing the right thing? What’s the guarantee that when these children are introduced into society, they don’t feel like they’ve been thrown into unfamiliar territory?
Here is the help parents need, below are curated list of important values a good parent can impart on a child to make him/her a well-groomed child.
Important values to teach to a child
A lot of parents make the mistake of teaching children only to respect their elders and do not touch the aspect of respect to everyone. Irrespective of age and social class, everyone deserves respect and that is why the norms respect is reciprocal is embraced.
It is important that a child learns about this at young age’ as it will reflects in the child’s behavior amidst people of different age group, young, elders and their peers.
In life, things may not always be rosy and from time to time tasks and assignments will be placed on their shoulders. Whichever way this may occur’ a child needs be prepared.
We must make a child understand that whatever happens in life or in course of accomplishing a task, the best thing to do is to take responsibility for the outcomes, which is the result of their efforts whether positive or negative.
A child must learn how to manage situation. We have to make him/her see mistakes as an avenue to learn and also to manage rejection.
From a very young age children are prone to be put into groups’ either to play or work. Children must know that not everything works according to their will or their wish. A big lesson is therein to learn from a young age, that when it is necessary, they may have to adjust, blend with or accommodate others.
Parents must teach a child also the act of being considerate of other people, likes and dislikes not necessarily always putting others wants first but finding a balance that works well for being an help where he/she can to everyone but emphasis not to the detriment of own convenience.
Teach the children to be mindful of time, like an adage says and I quote “A stitch in time saves nine” also “make hay while the sun shine”. Its’ one of the very best thing to let in mind of a child; that time waits for no one, and that procrastination is a thief of time, that there is time and season as to everything on the surface of earth thus the bible emphasis same.
The habit of doing the right thing at the right time must be a breast plate. Make sure they do the right things at the right time. For example; doing assignments on the way to school or the morning of submission day should be highly discouraged.
Also teach them how to do things quickly and accurately, the act of doing it once and doing it right must be embraced so that they can move on to other tasks without delay or waste of time.
Children should learn to obey rules and regulations. Let them know that rules are in place for a reason, they should debunk the notion that rules are meant to be broken. As thus regulation also are to be adhere to and so also there are protocols. All this are ethics to be observed. A disciplined person has the personal initiative to start up a task and see it till completion. Being disciplined gives you the strength to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional, or mental.
Learning manners will help children know the right way to behave among people. A person without manners will lose a lot of opportunities, because no one wants to work with or be around a rude person. It is important that they learn these manners at an early stage.
The usage of some words such as; please, kindly, thank you, you’re welcome and I’m sorry should not be underrated, even as an adult. Some adults tend to leave it out when talking to a child because they feel it reduces them in some way, please don’t do that.
Also teach them to show gratitude when something nice is done to them. This traits are to be model, let it be instilled in them as they grow.
Some parents are baffled and wonder why their children will fake an illness just not to go to school. They recognize this as a very bad trait and are wondering where they learned to lie and act to buttress their lie. You may be experiencing same act from a child.
Deeper investigation will shows that this may have been learnt from you. If not’ why is that a times you lied on phone, disguise or cover up some wrong deeds.
There are some things you may have done unknowingly that the kids have privilege. It may also be that the pick the idea from watching TV. However, one of the best method to instill honesty is to be honest yourself.
Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’. Avoid white lies, let them hear you say on the phone that you’re at home and let it be true. These children are not dullards, they see, understand and retain in formations, let them see you do the right things so that they can retain and act the right things.
Thievery is a crime, but let’s not even go there yet. Taking another person’s belonging is evil, only a heartless person would do that. Let the children know that it’s wrong to take what doesn’t not belong to them for it surely cause pain to the owner.
Teach them to be considerate of other people’s feelings, help them imagine the scenario and the feeling of when their favorite plaything is taken away from them, and let them know never to inflict that kind of pain on someone else or converting other people property for their own use illegally or illegitimately.
Do you leave your local dance club that’s in need of members because you are being scouted by a bigger club? This is a question of your loyalty to that club, whatever your answer is to the question will determine where your loyalty lies and what your stand point is as loyalty as a value.
Some parents unintentionally teach selfishness in the bid to teach a child to do what’s best for themselves. Loyalty is showing firm allegiance to a person or an organization.
Research says it is one of the most difficult cognitive developmental stages of a child, it involves abstract thinking. But it can be taught, teach a child to understand or share in other people’s feelings.
You come home from a stressful day at work, and your child asks how your day went and tells you sorry after you say it was hectic is an example of showing empathy.
Helping your child be inclined to people’s feelings will help them know the right words to say in particular situations. It is fundamental to good manners. One of the many reasons why people bully others is lack of empathy and respect to humanity.
Take a scenario that happen sometimes ago, Miss Stella a teacher puts little Jason in charge of the class and tells him to give two knocks on the head to anyone who makes noise.
In a class of 10; little Jason is able to catch four offenders, one of them being his best friend. To administer this punishment Jason gives two knocks on the head to each of the offenders but gives his best friend just one’ funny.
Miss Stella notices this and calls little Jason to order over his partiality, she tells him that she had expected him to be just and impartial towards the entire class and without discrimination punish everyone with equity regardless of who the person was to him. Unfairness can breed enmity and hatred.
Teach the children to be modest and humble no matter their social standing, it helps them to respect those of a lower class, its’ eliminates arrogance.
A humble person doesn’t have the desire to control or have power, a humble person can recognize and respect his strength and the strength of others too. Humble people are good leaders as they are selfless. Teach your child to be humble.
These are just a few of the many values a child should possess. We’ve identified the values but how do we inculcate these values into our children.
It goes more than just telling them to be good, how do we ensure these values become a part of them and a subconscious trait? Read on to find out how you can teach this values to a child.
How values can be teach for a child to inculcate?
Practice what you preach
Children tend to do what they see you do and not necessarily always what you tell them. The idea of ‘do what I say, don’t do what I do’ should be pulled from its roots. Take for example, A child will listen to you more if you say don’t smoke and you also don’t smoke and as much as you go at length to tell the child the consequence. But when you smoke and you tell a child not to, your actions serve as an influence stronger than your words.
Narrate personal experiences
All kids love to hear stories, when you tell them of personal experiences and share from your life lessons, the children tend to listen and understand better.
Reward good behavior
Come up with a system, where you reward your child for using these values in his/her life. Praise and rewards are positive reinforcement that works incredibly well in shaping children.
If you give a child a sweet for greeting you, you are indirectly telling the child that you’ve done a good thing, and it will encourage the child to keep doing it.
Talking about values is a great way to instill them. When seeing a movie, site examples of people that portrayed value, recommend books filled with values and lessons.
Values don’t develop automatically, it requires conscious effort just like one would send a kid to school to learn. When discussing, avoid lecturing, make it a two-way conversation and hear about life from your child’s perspective.
Do the right thing. You can’t teach what you don’t have, it’s a garbage in garbage out situation. Articulate these values to yourself and your child consistently.
Consciously apply them to your daily life and let your children see you do them. Let them see you show compassion to a beggar. Let them see you return a lost but found property of careless owners.
When they see these things, they are knowingly and unknowingly picking up good values. Also help them to make decisions that would develop their values. E.g. should your 12-year-old child tell on kids who are cheating in an exam? Should your 10-year-old child not care about waking up late on a school day?
Make it relatable
Values seem very abstract and theoretical to children when you talk to them about it. They may understand but it is way easier when you relate these values to their world, to what they can see and touch, examples that they’ve experienced before. For example, using a fairytale story to instil that honesty pays.
Be careful about what you are modelling
Be cautious about what you do and say especially around your kids. Here’s an example; your child comes back from baseball practice and tells you about how fun it was. But the first thing you ask is who won?
You are teaching them indirectly that winning is all that matters. Another example is you changing the age of your child to gain access to an event. Your child will learn that lying or cheating is okay under certain circumstances.
Values are timeless and when we ensure these values are a part of our child, we are working towards a bright future for them and society.
Side effects of not teaching values to a child
Let us sit and imagine a world with valueless children. Where disorder is the order of the day. Sorry’ our streets will be filled with unmotivated children who will grow in to adults. Indiscipline and lawlessness will eat deep into the heart of the society and become the order of the day.
The crime rate would be alarmingly high, as theft would no longer be frowned upon. Companies will be filled with empty headed graduates with star studded results because malpractice won’t be a bad thing. Bullies would prey upon and oppress the weak, there will be hard headed uncontrollable children all over the place. The whole world will be shambled.
Being elderly would no longer suggest wisdom as all respect bled out along with good manners. The world will be filled with passive children unwilling to stand up and take charge of their lives. Waking up late in the afternoon will be the new normal.
No one would be his brother’s keeper because loyalty is nowhere to be found. Corruption would break the scale, no one is just or impartial. And the kind smile of the neighbor would no longer be kind, it would be smug, arrogant and proud.
What would our world looks like if good values are not instilled into our future generation(The children)?. You have one or more things to share with us respect to instilling values in a child?, kindly use our comment box below to tell us your views’ we will be happy to hear from you. Thanks for reading.